For each of the previous 32 years, Hue Jackson spent this time of summer getting ready for the start of football season.
This year is different.
Nearly 10 months after being fired by the Cleveland Browns, Jackson is a free agent -- or in other words, unemployed. Speaking Greg Bishop of Sports Illustrated for a story released on Thursday, the 53-year-old opened up about the depression he's felt since being fired by the Browns, which came months after both his mother and brother passed away just days apart.
“I failed tremendously,” said Jackson, who compiled a 3-36-1 record over the course of two and a half seasons with the Browns. “Regardless of how you look at it.”
Jackson is plenty aware of the public backlash he has since received via both his public feud with Baker Mayfield after accepting an assistant coaches job with the Cincinnati Bengals to close the 2018 season and the other interviews he has given since his firing. As recently as July, he told WFNZ radio in Charlotte that he felt his time with the Browns resulted in "probably some of my best coaching."
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But for Jackson, the depression he's experienced for the better part of the past year goes deeper than football. As was documented on last year's season of Hard Knocks, Jackson lost both his mother and brother just days apart during the Browns' Training Camp.
“I started looking around my life,” Jackson said, “wondering, Who’s next?”
As for his own life, Jackson doesn't sound like a coach who is ready to hang up his whistle for good just yet.
In a few weeks, he and his family will move from Cleveland to Cincinnati. Beyond that, he's not sure what's next. But he's plenty aware of how his blemishes with the Browns have shaped his reputation.
“Let’s be honest," he said. "Right now, that’s what’s on my tombstone.”